Sleeping seems to be a luxury that I can't get much of these days. I will lay in bed and suddenly my mind races with all sorts of things. I'll worry about bills, money, doctor's appointments for the kids, should I get an oil change, what do I need to get at the grocery store. All kinds of things that I just can not shut off.
Perhaps it is just the only time that is quiet and I actually have time to think (read: worry)about everything. I have read that keeping a pad and pencil beside the bed can help get you to sleep. Perhaps I will use this blog as a tool to do that. The idea is to write down your to-do's or worry list and by doing so clear your mind for sleep.
Tonight the list includes: whether I should go back to work full time or in a job share. Maybe I should start my own company or invent something really cool - but then I think about what to invent! I also gave myself crap for forgetting the 15% off sale at Safeway that they have once per month. A falling out I had with one of my best girlfriends a few months ago has been weighing heavily on my heart along with the lack of time I have been able to spend with my husband and kids - but especially my poor husband who wound up sleeping in the spare room this past week because I have been so miserably sore at night. ;( Multivitamins are for some reason very important to me at this moment - I pondered what type I should be taking and contemplated an article I read about lack of vitamin B12 and vitamin D in women. What else keeps me from sleep at the moment...? Thoughts of talking to Casey's teacher tomorrow about the tall tales he has been telling and the permission slip I need to sign run through my mind. My health is always something I am thinking about. I really am frustrated and upset and just want to feel well. No more medications and no more pain. I would like to just for once to feel 'normal' and healthy. I also thought about how cool it was that I figured out how to create a blog all by myself - I am not that computer geeky inclined. My husband is the computer whiz of the family. Then I began worrying about where to meet a new friend for lunch - yes worry. As odd as it seems. Which brings along a whole new topic.
I am finding that the days have been lonely. Most of the good friends I have made during my time in Grande Prairie have moved on to other places. One of the last friends in town will be moving back East by the end of the summer. I am so sad!! It is difficult for me to meet new friends since I can be so introverted and I don't really put myself out there I suppose. Making new friends will just have to be added to the to-do list and I can at least now worry about it another time. The, hopefully, new friend I am meeting for lunch this week seems really friendly and outgoing and we had met almost a year ago through a mutual friend but never managed to connect. Although I have no idea what to talk about when we meet, I hope something stupid doesn't come out of my mouth and we will go with that!!
So hopefully this being my pen and paper sleep will start to come. More in the morning.
Good Night.
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